The Four Agreements was published in 1997 and written by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican author. The book is basically about how the voice in our head or our domesticated belief can steal joy and happiness from us. The book convinces us that just like an animal being domesticated by humans, we are being domesticated by beliefs and thoughts that we picked up from an environment that we surround ourselves with. These beliefs are referred to as a Book of Law and these laws are written in such a way that even if it is a wrong belief the inner judge perceives it as a right one. Without a doubt, these beliefs lead us in seeking attention from externalities and also abusing ourselves subsequently. Furthermore, it also makes us search for happiness, love, beauty in the external world when it actually exists within us. These are all due to a false belief system in us, that drag us that there is no such thing as truth, beauty and wonderful things within us.
As a result, there are said to be many agreements that we have created with our loved ones, with other peoples but the most important is said to be an agreement that we set with ourselves. The four powerful agreements that can result in amazing transformation in our life as per the book are:
Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Don’t Take Anything Personally.
Don’t Make Assumptions.
Always Do Your Best.
The First Agreement: Make Your Word Impeccable
The first agreement is to be impeccable with our words and impeccable means the words that are without sin. Conversely, the words with sin means those words that are used against you, like often to blame and judge yourself every day. whereas, the words that are not against you are used to make you more responsible for your actions.
The first agreement also tells us that gossiping is like pure poison and therefore we must avoid the use of words to gossip about others.
The Second Agreement: Do not Take Anything Personally
The second agreement tells us that we should not take anything in life personally or unnecessarily make something so big out of something so little. For instance, if we take things personally then we were found to often get offended and then end up trying to defend our belief that eventually causes conflicts. Most importantly, it tells us that we should be aware that people’s voices are mostly about themselves or their fear, opinions and their belief system. Moreover, it was found that what people speak of us is mostly dependent on their moods like when they are happy they are found to deliver constructive feedback to us and the opposite happens when their moods get switched. For this reason, not to take things personally is highlighted as the second powerful agreement that we should make.
“When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect. It is painful to take that social mask off. If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you don’t need to be attached to the pain. Healing is on the way, and it’s just a matter of time before things will be better for you.” (Ruiz, 1997)
The Third Agreement: Do Not Make Assumption.
The third agreement is about how to stop making assumptions. Assuming something without knowing whether it is valid or not is described as asking for a problem as it causes gossiping and building a wrong idea of something. As a result, the wrong interpretation and subsequently misunderstanding were found to happen in different types of relationships. Apart from this, the assumptions were found to be made very fast and that also with an unconscious state of mind. The third agreement therefore says that rather than making assumptions we must first question and make ourselves clear.
The Fourth Law of Agreement: Always Do Your Best
The fourth law of Agreement state that we should do everything in our life to best of our abilities. Likewise, if we do things in our life either above or below our level of best then we are found to remain unsatisfactory and unhappy in our life. Therefore, it tells us that we need to forgive the past and shouldn’t be concerned about the future but work on this present moment with full zeal.
Overview
I personally cherished this book and I am so glad that after finishing reading this book, I have so many useful takeaway messages for my present as well future self. I also love that the languages are simple enough that I don’t have to constantly keep on checking the dictionary. I liked the length of the book as it is a bit shorter compared to other books and most importantly, I am very grateful for insightful or rich messages delivered within just 153 pages. Hence, the book is truly recommendable.
Featured photo courtesy: Jakob Owens
Thank you for reading till the end ❤
References
Ruiz, D. M. (1997). The Four Agreements. California: Amber-Allen Publishing
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